The Not-So-Daily Ramble

Ok, so I don't post spam (or anything else) much anymore, but I loved the tortured first paragraph of this fine, fine phishing attempt:

Dearest Beloved,
I write to you with tears dropping down my eyes, most times when I look atmyself in the mirror I ask myself "am I going to die and leave thisworld". I told my private doctor once not to let me die but life and death isnot in his hands to decide as I even feel I am going to die.Thepain,the trauma, the psychological effect am going through make me reject thiswicked world. Crying in the night has become a part of me as i canteven sleep pondering the hospital roof .Feeling bad on the inside because Inever believed such thing could happen to me.
I am Mrs Kathy Newmann.I don't understand why life has beenso good to me and at the same time been so cruel to me. I expect even if I amdying, my kids should come to see me in the hospital where Ihave leaved now for more than 8 years. But too bad I have no kids to help orto give me hope. I was diagnosed of cancer since 8 years now I havebeen suffering in the hospital, friends have refused coming or even write meemails as I am not allowed to use the phone any more.
Please I cant go further to share my experience. What I ask now is somebodywho can come up to inherit my wealth  and do as I ampleased.

I have $ 7.1 million USD lying somewhere . I want this money to beinvested in any business of your choice but with 45% of the monthlyprofit from this money sent to charity in Africa and the tsunami affectedareas or to the less priviledged homes in your area.
I want a trusted, God fearing person who can fulfill my heart desires.If you think that you can honestly do this for me,Please reply with your fullname and contact address. I will need to know you very well and also pray over this before i can hand you over the particulars of my inheritance for claim.
Thank you for reading and hope to hear from you.
Mrs Kathy Newmann

I love the part where "she" claims she has "$7.1 million USD lying somewhere."   As in, "Oh biscuits, I've misplaced the car keys again."